How the She-Hulk got her Sidekick

In the High and Far-Off Times the She-Hulk, O Best Beloved, had no Sidekick. She had only a yellowish Patsy that she could wriggle about from side to side, which isn't the same at all.

Now our uncle journeyman2 (who may or may not be tall, and may or may not be hairy, but as far as I know has never spanked anyone with his hard, hard hoof) taught us all how to recur the Hellcat every turn without spending a card from hand, and in that way, O Best Beloved, thwart for 4 a turn which was Enough.

But O! journeyman2's way needed Avengers Tower and Team-Building Exercise and one or another of Quincarrier or Helicarrier, which was really quite a lot of work and took quite a lot of time which could leave you sitting in the middle of the wait-a-bit thorn bush whilst the villain was getting on with the game. The wait-a-bit thorn bush is all very well for Kolokolo Birds, but it will not do for She-Hulks.

So one fine morning in the middle of the Precession of the Equinoxes the She-Hulk asked a fine new question which she had never asked before. She asked 'what does the crocodile have for dinner?' Then everybody said, ‘Hush!’ in a loud and dretful tone so she asked 'Why don't I try having a Sidekick?' which was a much better question.

For the Sidekick, O Best Beloved, costs only 2 ER whereas Avengers-Tower-and-Team-Building-Exercise-and-one-or-another-of-Quincarrier-or-Helicarrier costs 10, which is a lot when your hand size is only 4. And the Sidekick heals up every time you do a basic recovery, which is a thing that She-Hulks often do.

And whereas the yellowish Patsy ally could only wriggle about from side to side, the Sidekick can Side-by-Side which costs only one more ER than 'satiable curiosity but achieves so much more, especially for She-Hulk who needs a way to ready after recovering or defending so she can use her One-Two Punch which can otherwise be a dead card (and Truly! She-Hulk has enough of those already).

So if you would take my advice, then go in a hurry to the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fever-trees, to borrow a new Sidekick from the Crocodile. When you came back nobody will spank anybody any more; and ever since this day, O Best Beloved, all the She-Hulks you will ever see, besides all those that you won’t, will have Sidekicks.